As this is all about cars and bikes, I figure I should relate the story about the only time I know of that people used both of them in the same race.
For the Mazda Grand Prix of Portland last July the promoter had hatched the brilliant idea that you could do a race like a triathlon, but using race cars instead of swimming. There were some problems, though. First, that’s the kind of race I could actually win, even if it sounded kind of dicey – but, I had “retired” from car racing at the end of 2007. Second, I thought they would change their minds after they thought about it for more than a minute.
I was wrong, of course, and on Sunday morning we were called together for a meeting about how the race would work, and how hopefully nobody would be killed and how it was worth the risk because the winner would get $400. It did seem likely that I’d risked my life for less than that before…
I had, the day before, un-retired from car racing and finished 7th in the first Spec Miata race of the weekend which had taken place Saturday afternoon. I had also hatched a brilliant plan to race the Motathlon then drive up to Vancouver, Washington to race a Criterium (bicycle’s, twisty, crowded, and in reality more dicey than the Motathlon) and then return very quickly to Portland to take part in the feature race of the Mazda Grand Prix in the Miatacage.com Miata. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
How often will the chance to do a real bike race and real car race on the same day present itself, anyway?
There were about 10 of us dumb enough to show up on the Motathlon grid and most of us were in Spec Miatas. We drew for starting position and would do four laps of PIR in the car, about one mile on the bike and then run about 300 yards to the finish (where Playboy bunnies would be waiting for the winner – yes, those Playboy bunnies).
Will Schrader took off on the car leg and had gapped the field led by Bruce Wilson and Alec Osenback. My excuse for being fourth is that my plan was simply to avoid the bad things that might happen during the car part and win it from the bike. I think most of us were using nearly all of our regular safety equipment except the HANS (head and neck restraint). I had decided to do the entire race without changing or removing any gear!!!
Motathlon and Mazda GP Spec Miata
That was Will’s biggest mistake. The time he took to switch helmets completely erased the gap he had made for himself. Bruce and Alec were banging on each other entering the “transition area” (I’m told that’s what the triathlon people call it) and frankly, I’m surprised they didn’t wreck themselves – but 400 bucks is 400 bucks and Bruce was pretty well spun up about the bunnies.
So, I hopped out of the car and was handed my bicycle by my friend (and hairdresser), Fenn Bourland, who is an experienced triathlete who uses words like “transition” and “area”. It was pretty much over, save the sweating, at that point. Alec was in the lead and I could hear the muffled obscenities as I blew by him and continued to stretch out a 45 second advantage by the time the run started. That part was pretty cool because Alec is young and all kind of spry looking and I’m kind of old… Anyway, a sprint in full race driving gear down the straightaway and the bunnies and $400 would be mine!!!
Car people, in particular, love the 24 Hours of Lemons and as I was forunate enough to do it once, I’m often asked questions about it. The 2007 edition of the 24 Hours of Lemons at Thunderhill was the first “race” out of retirement for me. I’ve described it as a Halloween party with cars, and that really is just about it. Cyclocross racers have got nothing for these clowns.